There are many reasons why men and women decide to go outside their primary relationships to get physical and emotional needs met.

There is NO EXCUSE for infidelity. Sure, we all have needs and desires and sometimes the people we love can’t give us everything we want. But there are mature and responsible ways to handle these shortcomings, such as therapy or better communication.

Part of that communication is understanding why people have the urge to cheat in the first place.

 

#1 Reason: There is Something Missing in His Life

At the CORE of all these reasons is that there is an emotional void or pain they are trying to fill or soothe. Something is missing in their lives. Men and women who cheat are often looking for:

• Validation that they are still sexy, attractive or interesting.
• A boost in self esteem because they don’t know how to get that from within themselves.
• Excitement because their daily life lacks challenge and fulfillment.

You might think that men cheat because they are looking for younger, more exciting or simply a VARIETY of sexual partners, and on the surface it is true. Men do think they are cheating because they are not getting what they “need” from their wives or girlfriends.

Many of the cheaters I knew said that they loved their wives or girlfriends, but they just needed something they were either embarrassed to ask for sexually, or simply were not able to get because their regular partners weren’t into it.

A REAL MAN with a healthy, mature emotional mindset, knows what he wants and knows what his feelings and “issues” are. He will know what he needs and he won’t be afraid to ASK for it. A Real Man will also know that he can’t solve deep-seated emotional pain with temporary risky behavior, like cheating.

Many men think they’re Real Men, but they aren’t. They think that having more than one sexual partner makes them more of a Real Man. Once they are discovered, they become the selfish child who doesn’t know how to cope with challenging and difficult times.

Here are a few other reasons I’ve heard from men about why they cheat: