Tip #1: Don’t Manage Him
A man wants to feel appreciated and supported. He wants to feel that you’re his lover, not his mother. He wants to know that he can make you happy and that his efforts in that regard are not in vain. If you find yourself constantly telling him what to do, what to wear, how to behave…it’s bad news for your relationship. Even subtle managing, such as telling a man, “I think you should… why don’t you… If I were you, I’d…” are often seen as managing and mothering.
Tip #2: Don’t Let Your Sex Life Wither
Many women are outraged about this advice. Telling them they should keep their man happy in bed in order to prevent him from straying may sound sexist and like you’re coddling a man who needs to just buck up and grow up. Right? Yes and no. Many men cheat not because they don’t love their wife, but because their wife has lost interest in sex or refuses to sleep with them or perform certain acts (like oral sex). It’s a biological fact that men think about and want sex more often than women do. If you deny your man because you’re tired or ill or just not into it, then you risk the consequences. Take care of yourself and seek medical help if your fatigue is something you can’t seem to resolve on your own.
Tip #3: Communicate in a Way He’ll Listen
Men don’t like nagging, belittling, obsessing women. The best way to communicate in a way that he’ll listen is to tell him how you feel using the words, “I feel…” and then letting him figure out how to respond. Don’t go on and on. Don’t criticize. Just state how you feel and ask him what he thinks. Sometimes it may take him a while to process things and get back to you.
“I feel a little lonely because we haven’t been connecting the way we used to. What do you think?”
Telling a man you suspect he’s cheating or accusing him won’t always get you the results you’re after. Telling him you FEEL worried, anxious, lost or sad may open up the communication in ways you weren’t expecting.